Here we are at the entrance to Bukit Chenuang aka Nightmarish Death Mountain aka Place I Swore I Would Never Hike Up Again. The entrance is pleasant and innocent-looking enough ... thus I am blissfully lulled into a false sense of peace and security... the trees are nice and tall ... the path up to the restrooms is nicely laid out and despite the toilets' numerous flaws (flush doesn't work, giant bugs scampering in sink), we are happy that we came ...
... I stroll down the nicely tarred road, big grin on my face. "This is easy!" I think to myself. "Ah, like a walk in the park..." Little did I know what lay in store for all of us ...
... Our guide Encik Roslan (whom shall henceforth be known as Heartless, Parang-Wielding Man or HPWM), leads the unsuspecting bunch of us - nine in all - into The Jungle ...
... The Jungle is dense and wet and slippery and rocky and crawling with slimy blood-sucking leeches ...
We take a short break after having hiked up a treacherous stream so that HPWM can take a smoke and leeches can have more opportunities to latch onto our butts for fresh blood ...
... We smile for the camera. This is before HPWM tells us that we've only hiked for 45 minutes so far and there's a LONG way more to go to the top of the hill and that there's no shortcut and it's about to get a lot tougher. We stop smiling ...
After the stream is when it starts to get really steep and slippery (thanks to the mud and rain). Worse still, there's nothing to grab onto, so climbing up is unnerving. We ask HPWM if we can go home now. He calls us 'anak manja' and tells us to move our butts ... ... Icy cold water slushing around in my shoes, my hands full of scratches, my knobby knees bruised, my backpack rubbing roughly against my back, I begin to wonder if I'm as tough as I think I am ...
... I have a sudden urge to call my mother and tell her I'm sorry for not washing the coffee mug last week. I may never see her (or anyone else for that matter) again ... Right at that moment, HPWM tells us there are harimaus, beruangs and babi hutans in this jungle. I wonder to myself, "WHAT THE F$#%@^#F%@#!FFF@!!! AM I DOING HERE THEN???!!!!"
... HPWM hacks his way through the wild mass of bamboo while we crawl our way through. Someone threatens to kick the butt of our trip organiser for tricking us into this ...
Holy crap!! #%@$#%@#!!! Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ... And then, hallelujah!!! We reach the peak!!!!!!!!!! And it only took us 3 bloody freaking hours. It is noon and we're all still alive. Nobody gets eaten by harimau, beruang or attacked by babi hutan.
No matter that the view sucks la. We quickly take this picture and wonder how the hell we're going to get back down. We're at an elevation of 2,720ft- one of the guys' phones told us so.
This is the last time I smile. We make our descent soon after and I take no more pictures for the next 3 hours as we struggle to get out of the jungle. I fall down tons of times and I swear my butt's paralysed ... it is - in a word - HORRIBLE.
It's 3pm and we're finally out!!!!!! The feeling is indescribable - sort of like we've died and gone to heaven. I fight the urge to kiss the tar road and call my boyfriend, ex-boyfriends, mother, grandmother, auntie, uncle, cousin's auntie's friend's sister ... there are mud stains caked on my butt and my leech-proof socks and hiking shoes are soaked and filthy but who cares?? We're out!!!
I had no leech bites on my legs or feet (thanks to my trusty RM12 leech-proof socks and a bucketload of cap kapak, tiger balm and vicks) but five little buggers managed to get into my shirt and onto my back! It looked pretty cool actually. What wasn't cool was how eight of my ten toenails swelled up, turned purple and fell off. It's been 10 months and I still can't do a pedi. And THAT, my friends, is true torture.
No comments:
Post a Comment